Who owns the armrest on an airplane?

No sooner have you taken your seat, stowed your bag, and fastened your seatbelt than a silent power struggle often begins on the plane. There's shifting, twitching, and a battle for space, millimeter by millimeter. Largely unspoken, sometimes accompanied by an apologetic smile, occasionally marked by demonstrative composure.

This is not about legroom or window view, but about one of the smallest and most contested territories on board: a narrow strip of plastic that reveals a surprising amount about etiquette, power dynamics and unspoken rules on the plane.

Who gets to use the armrest, who gives way, who stands their ground? A seemingly trivial question that regularly causes frustration – and has more to do with social sensitivity than one might initially suspect.

No clear guidelines

There is no binding rule regarding the use of armrests on board. «This can best be clarified directly with your seatmate,» says Johanna Tillmann, spokesperson for the German leisure airline Condor, in response to a Travelnews inquiry. For those who want to be absolutely sure of having at least one armrest to themselves, Condor recommends a window or aisle seat

For those who want armroom without any negotiation, the airline also has a clear tip: booking in Business Class. «On short-haul flights, a free middle seat ensures armroom, while on long-haul flights, the large, comfortable seats offer not only two armrests, but also aisle access from every seat and a nearly two-meter-long lie-flat surface for restful sleep above the clouds,» says Condor spokeswoman Tillmann.

Should disagreements arise on board, the cabin crew is prepared. Condor employees complete annual safety and service training and, according to Tillmann, are trained to intervene and de-escalate such situations. At the same time, the airline sets clear boundaries: passengers who repeatedly or significantly behave in a disruptive manner, or who exhibit abusive, racist, or discriminatory behavior, may be excluded from travel.

When in doubt, favor the passenger in the middle seat

So much for the airline’s handling of the situation—more accurately, the absence of formal rules on board. This makes it all the more relevant to examine the question of armrests from the perspective of etiquette. Linda Hunziker of H+S Knigge in Bern clearly clarifies the situation for Travelnews: «Basically, armrests are available to everyone equally,» she says. However, with an eye toward fairness, she immediately adds: «Since the middle seat has neither its own armrest nor a view, and also no aisle access, the person in that seat should generously be given access to both middle armrests.»

The person by the window can use the armrest on the wall side, enjoy the view, and lean back comfortably, while the person in the aisle has the right to the armrest on the aisle side – including the option of stretching their legs occasionally. Hunziker's conclusion is clear: «Whoever places their arm first does not have an exclusive, permanent right to the armrest.»

It should go without saying that  elbows should not extend over the seatback into the neighbouring seat or touch the person next to you. Mutual consideration, a willingness to compromise, and friendliness are particularly important in the confined space of an airplane, says the etiquette expert.

But what if these principles don't apply? Hunziker recommends a pragmatic approach: «A fair option, especially with narrow seats, is to share the armrests by having passengers take turns resting their arms on them or place them slightly offset.» Often, a conflict can be avoided with a short, friendly «Is it okay with you if...?» Her advice is to initiate a conversation, express your needs, and negotiate respectfully. «If the other person is unwilling to compromise and reacts aggressively, then the flight attendant can be asked to mediate.»